Gathering of the Clan

A Gathering of Fly Fishermen
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 4:26 pm 

Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:14 pm
Posts: 1184
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and
listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless
Daddy, and God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa"

The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know, Daddy, it just seemed like the
thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to
her prayers which
went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy Moly," thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the
other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her
say: "God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got
up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day,
had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could
get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office,
so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee,
looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went

When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late,
what's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst
day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what
happened to me this morning. My golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my

PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:23 am 

Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:27 am
Posts: 269
Haha - good one. Another oldie:

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
1. A Bible
2. A silver dollar
3. A bottle of whiskey
4. A Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."

"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man and that would be okay, too.

"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher whispered. "He's gonna run for Congress."

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:50 pm 

Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:33 am
Posts: 81
Was his last name Clinton?

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