Gathering of the Clan

A Gathering of Fly Fishermen
It is currently Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:26 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours

Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Police work in Georgia
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:21 am 

Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:47 am
Posts: 1299
Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22
year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle
of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia)
courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,
public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. He explained:
"As there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was
no one around", he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled
over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was
appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy
his pressing need. “Guess I was really into it, y'know?” he commented with
evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an
approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy
Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I
walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin’.
Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence. “I said, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?’ He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there,
and then he looked me straight in the face and said , 'A pumpkin? Sh*t
... is it midnight already?' “

PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:01 pm 

Joined: Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:19 am
Posts: 175
Oy vey.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:21 pm 

Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:25 pm
Posts: 247
Location: Gwinnett County, GA
My limited exposure to the law enforcement in Georgia has left me with a very positive impression. I served on a grand jury in Gwinnett County several years ago and was very impressed with the police officers who presented evidence there.

I read, following the Univ. of GA's dismantling of Auburn Univ.'s football team in the SEC championship game, the Sheriff in Oconee County offered to reduce any speeding tickets by 5 MPH if the driver could prove they had graduated from Auburn University, feeling they had suffered enough to earn a deduction.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:33 pm 

Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:47 pm
Posts: 818
Gwinnett County has grown so much, I doubt you could find a pumpkin patch in the whole county. As to people who'll hump pumpkins, the University of Georgia, a couple of counties east of Gwinnett, has an Animal Husbandry program. It would not surprise me if the Football team all majored in Pumpkin Husbandry.

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group