Gathering of the Clan

A Gathering of Fly Fishermen
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 Post subject: The kids will hear
PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:37 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:47 am
Posts: 1199
For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on

this house is $289,000 and your mother just lost her job.

There’s no way we can afford it.”

The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the

front door with a suitcase.

So he asked, “Son, where are you going?”

Little Johnny told him, “I was walking past your room last night

and heard you telling mom you were pulling out.

Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with

a $289,000 mortgage and no f*ckin’ bike.”


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 Post subject: Re: The kids will hear
PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:56 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 5:18 pm
Posts: 338
Location: Leo, IN.
:o :o :o

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Nurses can't fix stupid, but we can sedate it.


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 Post subject: Re: The kids will hear
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:03 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:29 pm
Posts: 176
The teacher held a show and tell time where she said she would hold something behind her back, describe it and then pick one of her students to guess what it was.

So, the first time, Teacher says, "What I am holding in my hand is round and red and nice to put in your mouth." Little Johnny Starts waving his had saying, "I know teacher, I know' but the teacher realised what he could say and looks for another student to volunteer. Young Nancy shyly raises her hand and Teacher choses her..."It's an apple Miss". Teacher says "Yes Nancy, well done, it shows you're thinking."

Next, Teacher says, "What I am holding in my hand is round and red and bounces when you play with it." Little Johnny starts waving his hand saying "I know Teacher, I know". Teacher looks around the class desperately hoping one of the other children will indicate they might have an answer. She sees young David twitch his hand like he might want to answer. Vastly relieved, Teacher calls on him. "It's a ball Teacher," he says. "Well done David, you're right," says Teacher, "it shows you're thinking."

Finally Teacher says "Do any if you have a puzzle for the class?" No one moves, except Little Johnny. He is waving his hand wildly saying, "I've got one teacher, I've got one!" Finally Teacher chooses Little Johnny. He stands up with a wicked grin, sticks his hand down into his front pocket and says, "What I have in my hand is long and round and tastes good in your mouth."

Teacher immediately goes on a rant "You filthy boy, you go to the Principles office immediately!" Little Johnny pulls his hand out of his pocket holding a banana and says, "You're wrong Teacher, but it shows you"re thinking."

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 Post subject: Re: The kids will hear
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2018 5:43 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 1:46 pm
Posts: 415
A guy came home from work and found his girlfriend standing on the porch with her bags patched.

"What's going one?" he said. His girlfriend said, "I'm leaving you. I just found out you're a pedophile."

The guy said, "Oh, Pedophile. That's a mighty big word for a 12 year old."


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 Post subject: Re: The kids will hear
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2018 10:49 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:10 pm
Posts: 919
Gene L wrote:
A guy came home from work and found his girlfriend standing on the porch with her bags patched.

"What's going one?" he said. His girlfriend said, "I'm leaving you. I just found out you're a pedophile."

The guy said, "Oh, Pedophile. That's a mighty big word for a 12 year old."


It's sad that he couldn't afford to buy her decent luggage. ;)

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